In death’s house

Dear Universe, dear God, dear Death, dear Life or whomever will listen 

Do not claim her soul, I beg you 

She is not perfect, that is true; 

She makes messes with a wave of her finger 

Or used to 

Her mother says she is attracted to chaos 

She says chaos is attracted to her 

But for many a week there hasn’t been 

A pen misplaced; a dress flung carelessly 

Over the wooden chair by her bed 

Where now there sits in her favourite gingham’s stead 

Her mother, through day, through night and in between 

I remember how she used to scold 

Little Amie, for not cleaning the room which now stays 

Here, next to death’s house 

Orderly, quiet and perfectly clean 

The mother, with her pale face in her trembling hands 

Waits beside the little white bed 

Not daring to think things yet unsaid 

While beneath the sheets lies a small blonde girl 

Fiery her lips, cheeks and nose 

Her mouth, void of laughter, seemingly still 

Breathing shallow, shivering with a chill 

Intangible to everyone but her 

I’m begging you, Spirit, would not you prefer 

A soul that has lived, that has sinned, such as mine 

Take it away, take it away, O divine 

Leave little Amie, who has yet to see 

The ocean, the pearly tips of rugged mountains 

She told me, you know, she said she would be 

The happiest girl in the world if she could 

Fly with the larks and swim with the fish 

Listen to the breeze bending the pines 

Her mother says that she would catch cold 

In such a forest, in such a lake, she did not speak of the sky. 

Amie has little brown specks on her nose 

Her mother says that with every undone chore 

There appears a freckle more 

Amie loves them, though, dearly 

She said that if she and I were always together, 

Her sparse little flecks could never be lonely 

Look down upon me, O God, O Almighty 

See how my face is bedecked in these dots 

To count them, even you cannot contrive 

See how many chores I have abandoned, 

Dishes left soiled 

Clothes piled into a bulging hill up to my chin 

See how lazy I have been 

O devil, O evil, malevolent king of the dark 

Could, would not you make more use of me 

Than of little Amie? 

Who, not once in her life told a lie 

Without turning pink as a fresh cherry pie 

See now how she has been that way for weeks 

Though falsehoods are as far from her mind 

As are any words, whether silly or kind 

Her brother dares not enter her room 

He wanders the house like a translucent phantom 

Like the ghost of a young life recently lost 

Like a giggle gone still 

Muffled by wood, by earth 

I can see the grass growing around the stone 

Fresh green blades collecting dew 

Fragments, sparkling shards of the ocean that she 

Little Amie 

So longed to see 

But on that stone, what should be engraved? 

Her name, perhaps, but what is that worth? 

What is anything worth, when covered with earth? 

I should not think such things 

You should not let me, divine 

Make Amie get better 

I will do anything you ask of me 

Let me mine for you, dance on hot coals or glass shards 

My screams would be better than the quiet of death 

That reigns, here in his house 

That robs me of breath 

The only sounds that echo yet 

Are the wracking, weak coughs 

Of the girl who still lies 

Beneath the white sheets 

Like budding snowdrops, waiting below 

Their cold white blanket 

Of freshly fallen snow 

 

We avoid each other 

Here in death’s house 

Our faces make us think 

Of better times 

When smiles were not strained 

And talk bubbled freely 

Like a brook unrestrained 

We both fear and long to go 

Peep beneath the cover of snow 

But dread the despair or false hope  

On us it shall throw 

If only it were me, in the little white bed 

Coughing up droplets of blood 

Let me find my handkerchief flecked 

With bright crimson specks, like the ones on our noses 

Please, dear God, let me be in her stead 

Take her little fist away from death’s door 

Let her cease to knock 

I will hammer and bang ‘till to the bones I’ll be sore 

I will clamour, I will call, scream and mock 

Open up, and let me step over the threshold 

Into your silent, freezing embrace 

Let death’s house become that of life once more 

Let it be as it was, used to be, before 

It shall not be 

So bad without me 

As little Amie 

Dear Universe, Dear God 

Dear Life, Death or whomever still there 

When Amie throws back the blanket and jumps up once more 

To her forget-me-not blue bedroom door 

As she did, used to do, before 

So, my soul shall be claimed, and I beg 

That Amie be spared 

For she is the very best person I know 

Let thaw, once and for all 

Her blanket of snow 

And I shall lie, now and forever 

Through warm and cold weather 

Beneath the earth