She grew up being the fat friend
Her family assured her she was perfect but she always knew
The boys always giving her friends more attention
She was somewhat an outcast, someone from another dimension
Being fat meant you were ugly
Or so she was told back then
When she was 11, her crush had asked her group boldly
“How does she hangout with you guys? She’s not even pretty”
Being hurt so deeply she went to the school bathrooms and cried,
Wondering why she had no beauty, and why her family had lied
It was only obvious once in middle school
When they all compared weight, she could not help but lie,
Removing 10 kilos from the true amount as she was judging her thigh
She wanted to be skinny, it was almost an obsession
And soon the scale became her enemy, the topic she avoided in all discussion
She grew up being the fat friend
She never felt really too special
When a boy had complimented her as she turned 13 it felt like a true fantasy
Yet doubt submerged her head, unable to believe a girl like her could ever struck one’s fancy
This whole cycle turned more vicious over time
She had started to understand the process of losing weight could be done while being lazy
So she would skip lunch and tell her friends she was not hungry
The smallest bit of attention made her accessible to many,
It was all possible, well at least just as long as she stayed skinny
Soon, she started seeing results
Her distant family said she had became scarily slim
Often asking if she was on a precise diet or if she started going to the gym
Eventually, her own appetite would decease
So much her mother always stated the food served was low in calories
She grew up being the fat friend
And that had forever left a scar
At 16, sometimes she wonders if she has not taken it too far
Staring at old picture she looked nothing like she used to
When she saw again her 11 year old crush he said “I did not recognise you”
What was once a childish joke transformed her completely
Who would have known such a small word could be so deadly
After all this time, she never has loved herself, at least not truly
Always the fat friend, never the one who is skinny