December 07
A boy’s born
He doesn’t know
What he is up for
Because what happens next is, mind you
A kid that grows up wanting to be the kind truth
A kindness that he wants to use to proof
That anybody is worth it
The anybody is worth the love, the hugs
And not the hate and the shrugs
But you know what kids do
They destroy anything they can’t see clearly through
So once they see that our little boy
Who lights it up with kindness and joy
Is so different to all of them other boys
They don’t understand why he’s like this
They don’t understand why he doesn’t like their games so they make him their toy
And the boy doesn’t know how to react to this violent world
So instead of fighting back he just drowns in the hurt
He cries in front of his harassers
And that isn’t a tactic that will work
To fend them off
And he could even tell them to fuck off
But the truth is he isn’t strong enough.
And so our boy
He doesn’t want to go to school anymore
Go there just to get punched up, what for?
So his mother gets worried
And he tells her and in a hurry
They go to a psy
And she wants to know where, what, why?
And, lil boy, why do you hide?
Why do you hide your emotions?
Why do you have to cover your tears with brief motions?
Maybe you aren’t the problem
They are
And so he skips a class
And goes to a higher grade.
New school, new start
No more douchebags to make worlds part
And he is happy for the biggest part
He isn’t a worker, but he doesn’t need to work hard
He just makes it through fine.
Then eventually
He notices, it can’t go good perpetually
His classmates don’t like him that much
They just coexist with him and avoid him and he thinks “what the fudge”
And on a summer night
Where they left him alone in a dorm room on a school trip to go out drinking
The moon shining bright through the window
He just lets it all go
The hate
The sadness
He cries as he writes
Lines and bleeds on the paper
And there it is, black on white
His plan of what he has to do with all his might
He writes it all down
He decides that he won’t care what anyone thinks anymore
Because the more you care, the more you think
And the more you think the more it hurts
Of course he still wants to think but not give a thought to people that are the worst.
He lives
Distanced from the rest
But he lives
And as he walks through life
He gets a feeling that he has to talk to this girl he met
And no, he didn’t want to make her his girlfriend or his wife
He just needed someone
And she turned out to be more than just someone
She gave him a sense in what he had to to better
She finally made him feel understood
After years of searching and years of trying to fit
He still doesn’t because quite honestly fuck it
She’s his Iron Maiden and he’d never let her go
Unless, she tells him to do so.
And so does she
10 months and she does
And yes it’s both of their faults but he wishes it wasn’t
And he doesn’t know where to go or what to do
His mind is spinning and he has no clue
And he can just say he’s sorry
He wishes he could just go back.
And still this boy, mind you
Believes he can make it!
Because he never knew exactly what to do
But he always found
And even if this makes him want to bury himself into the ground
He’ll fly like an eagle, he’ll pierce through everyone’s head like a bullet, he’ll shut everything down and he’ll run free like a hound
Because you know it’s not lightning that makes the storm scary;
It’s the sound.