Welcome, make yourself at home. It is your home now after all.
We don’t get many visitors here, but the place is so peaceful and kind that I couldn’t leave it even if I tried. And oh have I tried. But that matters not. As I said, we don’t get many visitors here, we certainly haven’t seen you before. You may be wondering how you got here. Well, our guests appear to us on the car park outside below the large fading neon sign that reads « open ». Most of you will simply pull on the brass door handle and walk through the main entrance, while others stop and consider the surroundings for a few moments. Some stop and admire the grand and rusty « o » in the neon sign above the door, others will ponder over the wilted flowers in our windowsill pots and why they can’t see through the grime on the windows, but most of those who wonder and wander will wonder about her. I think you noticed her too, didn’t you? How calm and quiet and sweetly she floats? Well, not to worry, you haven’t seen the last of her yet.
Some take longer than others in deciding whether to open the door and come in than others- we call them the Lingerers. We never quite know what to do about the Lingerers, but in the end they always come through the door of the plant store one day or another. The bell on the front door doesn’t work anymore, no. It hasn’t ever worked, to my knowledge, now that I think of it. Some guests claim to hear it ring faintly when they pass through over the threshold, though, but I never do. Strange. Very strange. But then again, most things here are strange. Come along now, we’ve got a few last things to do before you leave.
Ah, here we are. Our pride and glory. Yes, I wanted to show you our selection of soil and planting mulch. Whatever your needs may be, we’ve got them all: big bags, small bags, recycled bags, and oh…aren’t they just magnificent? Freshly made here in our manufacturing room, you know? People go wild for them. They say our mulch makes their plants grow faster. Of course, our stock comes and goes as people buy them during daytime, but you’ve arrived a little later than most. No, no, it’s all alright- we’re always open, you can still be of use to us. It’s never too late for the likes of you. In fact, you may just be right on time. Don’t worry, it’ll all make sense in a moment.
No, we don’t sell plants here. But, as you can see, our mulch really is effective in making plant life grow. Yes, we pride ourselves in the beautiful overgrown look the store has acquired over the years. My personal favourites include the ivy covered cabinets that line the walls, the moss encrusted cobblestone floors we’re standing on, and of course the chair. Yes, the chair is the main event for our late-night visitors. Haven’t you seen it? Why, there it is around the corner. Isn’t it wonderful? Oh! But of course, you must be tired from the journey here. Won’t you sit down and rest for a moment? It is what you’re meant to do, after all.
There. Isn’t it a comfortable thing to sit in? Good. Just sit back and enjoy the music. It is a good song, isn’t it? A personal favourite. Haven’t you noticed it playing all throughout your visit? Well, either way, you won’t hear it for much longer. The entertainment is arriving for your last show. Leave? No, I’m afraid you can’t leave, dear one. I told you: even I can’t leave the store. Ah, here she comes. Now, she may hurt a little, but don’t worry: it’ll only last for a moment. Oh, don’t cry. By the looks of you when you hit the shelves in the morning you’ll be a great hit with the customers. See, now doesn’t that make you feel better? Good. Ah, here she is. She’ll take good care of you. Never you mind her empty face or vacant stare; it is beautifully transformative. I’ll be leaving you now, but I shall see whatever is left of you in the morning. Goodbye.