The Xanax Immersion – Remastered
Last night I took my Xanax,
the so-called pill of sweet dreams.
yet, it could not erase your presence
slipping into my mind—
a beautiful dream-guidance,
a radiant, divine being,
with a bittersweet heart that is saccharine-kind,
with a heavenly heart that unalives my emotional attacks.
Beautiful goddess of brightness—
Over your divinity I kneel.
Over your protection I hold expectation.
Over your existence I devote my essence.
Over your soul I find freedom and lightness.
Dreams can be very dark—
as dark as the universe itself,
when the stars fail to shine and guide.
When your divinity is absent from my oniric reality.
Then,
there you appear.
There, you sing your calm lullabies.
There, you hug my soul
and kiss my heart.
There,
your consciousness bleeds
into my waking world,
while I feel the deepest effects
of the sedative potion—
my mind floating,
my awareness expanding,
my soul cleansing,
my body dissolving.
On end,
my brain,
conscious,
realizes—
your brightness is my darkness;
my darkness is your brightness.
You’re the Quasar
burning on my cosmic abyss,
I’m the cosmic abyss
slowly dying on your Quasar—
you feel a light
you cannot see
without my darkness;
I feel a darkness
softened
uniquely
by your warmth and brightness.
Our consciousness expands—
descending,
into a deeper level of introspection—
thanks to the essence
we both possess,
thanks to the universe
that lets us witness
its process.
Even in my dreams
your name I silently cry,
with my tears in blood
on my body they dry.
Even in my dreams
where all colors
collapse into blackness,
my vision still finds you
inside my delusional darkness—
a divine Quasar
reminding my consciousness
that even in the dullness
of the immortal abyss,
you remain
my goddess of brightness.
I beg you, my goddess, blade my heart
with your dullest gun!
I promise you, my goddess, I’ll be broken ice—
I won’t melt or run!
Allow
my dead self
to fall
into your body eternally.
Allow
your divinity
to hold
my broken corpse
and let it rest
in your divine arms
forever.
Where my darkness
and your brightness
fall in love
more than ever.
Allow me to sign
my love for you
with your broken sword
and the cosmos’ blood—
a devotion so deep
not a single poet
could ever imagine
a better romantic plot.
My body, all sacred, all bloodied,
is ready for your lips
to kiss my dried and fresh blood.
My body, all marked, all primed,
is ready for your divine sacrifice.
My body, all trembling, all agonizing,
is ready for you to take it
and hide it in your darkest, dullest galaxy,
where your light makes my blood
visible and alive,
where only you
possess the choice
to kiss it
or bury it forever
in your forbidden garden.
May my
dead body
be your work of art.
May my blood
be your dark red paint.
May my soul
rest eternally
in your secret, deepest heaven.