Have you ever tried therapy? No, no, don’t you worry! Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. You will be able to understand this text without any preceding therapy-going experience.
Make sure to pay attention, the story is simple and goes as follows:
A therapy session(in a house where dogs don’t know how to pee outside sometimes) and where people pay attention to the wrong things (sometimes).
Therapist: Hello! It’s good to see you again after some time off. What have you been up to?
Client: Hey! Not much, applying to uni, looking for a job, not like it’s important.
Therapist: Okey. This seems like a lot of stree—
Client: Not at all. And, I’m good. I’m quite good today! Yes. Quite well. I don’t think I’ve ever been this good before. Thanks for asking.
Therapist: Have you been trying to track your mood lately? It is important to notice things that make you feel good!
Client: I do notice my bf quite well. He is difficult not to notice.
Also chocolate. Especially that Lindt creme brulee bar for 2.59 euros. Detectable. And that funny ass reel on Insta. Quite detectable. OH! Well. My dog did not pee inside today. I’m always quite upset when Chouchou does that. Like very. A lot.
Therapist: Oh…. So you are very upset that your dog pees….What do you say of the good weather today?
Client: It is quite good. I think I would enjoy it way more if…
Therapist: If what?
Client: If I didn’t think about my dog peeing on the carpet!
Therapist: And why does she have to?
Client: She doesn’t. Actually It should be in my checklist for today, but it always stays there staring at me.
Therapist: What checklist?
Client: On my whiteboard. For the things that may happen but probably will not. The list goes as follows:
- My sister, stealing my favorite cup and making chocolate brownie cake inside of it.
- My boyfriend, sending me a GN text message with no smiley at the end.
- Me, not getting into the university I want.
Therapist: That is an intense list. Would you like to talk about it? Seems quite worrisome.
Client: No, those things won’t happen. I’m pretty sure!
Therapist: Okay…then? What is bothering you right now?
Client: My dog. Chouchou pees on the carpet whenever she sees someone new. From excitement!
Therapist: Okay, but this is clearly not the most important stressful thing in your life. Have you tried treats or-
Client: It doesn’t matter. She pees.
Therapist: Well, okay. What about your parents, friends?
Client: they are also quite unhappy about my dog peeing…And also I will receive some mail soon. They said it is coming today. A letter! Hopefully ChouChou does not pee right there and then after seeing the postman.
Therapist: Yes I better hope so too.
A knock on the door.
Client: I’m cooooming….Give me a second.
The client goes to the door, receives a letter, opens it up:
“Dear Daria, we are sorry to inform you that the University of Applied Sciences has found a better candidature for….”
The client puts the letter away.
And
Steps in a warm puddle of….
Client: OH FUCK Chouchou!!!!!!!