The shaky burn of ice-cold shower
I come to realise it has no power
In washing off the dirt. A clean,
Habitual incrimination – and still,
He’s free roaming this very nation.
All of these doctors couldn’t help me,
In light of no penetration.
“Do not think bad of us, our hands are simply tied!”;
And how about mine?!
Must my own liberty halt on its breaks tonight?
“How were you dressed?”, why does it matter?
Even if I was to wear a swimsuit, a bikini –
That should not mean I am now given
Away to the first man on a silver platter.
But no, I was just wearing normal clothes.
Some shorts, a shirt, my shoes and socks on.
Went past the bar, into the night –
To sit alone, and hold on tight, and wait for
Some of my girl friends to come towards the middle of the night.
Immediately after, there it was. My brain just stopped,
My body froze. My limbs went numb, and all because
Of hands all over me.
I couldn’t move, I couldn’t think.
All I could say was “No, don’t do this, please!” –
All was no good. He didn’t listen.
His goal – put me in my fear’s prison.
It didn’t work.
Just set a trigger off. This isn’t something he can loot.
Now I’m afoot.
My blood is boiling over,
My heart is racing –
Mind isn’t moving any slower:
“I need to run, I need to tell”
My pain and shame just like a spell
Carried me over.
To the policemen.
To my parents
To ambulance’s paramedics.
IT was now over. Nightmares have now begun.
How about those who are alone?
How about those who are not yet grown
Enough to be aware? And to be strong?
What’s never right is to not tell.
I’m not at fault here, not the one to blame.
And no one in my situation is.
I need to get out of these suffocating fields
And never to forgive these evil grins.