I have not been eating well, recently.
I crave something.
Anything,
But it evades my mind.
I crave human touch, maybe.
But I shrink away when they reach out.
I read the calories on the back of the packaging
And I shrink away from that, too.
Let me shrink.
I will make myself so small.
So small, and then smaller.
How to disappear,
I ask Google,
And never be found again.
xxx
I want to trace your body,
Commit it to memory.
I want to feel every ridge
And kiss every mole.
I want to touch every inch of you
Fingertips, featherlight
And make you understand what I can’t put into words.
I know it is too much.
I know you don’t want to hear it, don’t want to know.
What if I tell you I want to trace your ribs with a knife
Reach inside you, hold your beating heart in my open palms
Get my hands all dirty with your blood?
I wouldn’t flinch,
I promise.
Would that be okay?
Would you let me hurt you with the purest intention?
Would you let me kill you if I told you I loved you
Only after
When you don’t have to hear it anymore?